Knitting My Way Out of The Stash

I've got 'way too much yarn, skeins and skeins of it. And I've finally come to the conclusion that I really don't want to knit anything complicated, anything I will have to think about, anything that will take my mind off thinking about what I want to write.

Found a pattern for a short row hat in the garter stitch. (For the uninitiated, the garter stitch is simply knitting every stitch instead of purling, every row, every side.)

My Chameleon scarf is all knit stitches, but knit in a way that leaves one color dominant on one side, the other color dominant on the other side, with the fringe at each end one of the two colors. Knit these things sideways on circular needles. I'm sure someone before me has discovered the chameleon pattern, but I never met them before, so the chameleon pattern is all my own invention.

Back to the short row hat -- all garter stitch, short rows that help shape the crown. Neat, no-nonsense hat.

Problem is, the two sides have to be put together with the dreaded Kitchener stitch.

Can I learn how to knit the Kitchener stitch?

Anyone think the name 'Kitchener' is amusing?