A decade or so, I bought an Italian Chef timer at the Pot Rack in Leavenworth. He stood about nine inches tall, wore an appropriate chef's apron and hat, and had a matching paunch (never trust a skinny cook). When time was up, he let fly an Italian phrase meaning "time's up". At least I think that's what he was saying, he could have been uttering Italian curses for all I know.
Maybe it was the crazy atmosphere of my kitchen, but one day he went berserk. When time was up he began
cursing shouting in Italian. Kept up the harangue for three-four minutes. I'd think he was through and after a brief pause he would take a deep breath and commence again. I thought it was some internal problem, appendicitis or the like, so I ventured a little surgery. Unscrewed him. Alas, his problems were beyond my surgical skill set.
My hearing is going, and I need a kitchen timer that clangs louder and longer. Every place I look has the same anemic one-size-fits-all, white only timer with a pathetic two-second clang. Oh, how I wish I had my loud mouth Italian chef to keep reminding me to turn off the stove before the food becomes a tasteless chunk of black carbon. I wouldn't even mind if he cursed at me.
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